Relationships are common in our society. We have friendships, romantic relationships, business partnerships, situationships, etc. Because I am bombarded with examples of what relationships should be, I thought I knew what a relationship with God was all about. What I have learned over the years is that what I thought I knew about God was only half the truth, and there was so much more that I had learn because God is not interested in a surface level, patriarchal, racist, and capitalist defined relationship. Instead He wants what is real and true. Just like in our earthly relationships, the only way to get to this is to spend quality time and experience life together. That’s where I have been for the past 3 or so years, and all I know is that God is GOOD!
To begin talking about this journey, let’s go back. For as long as I can remember, I have known God. I remember praying as a child with my parents before bed. I remember my grandmother giving me a doll as a little girl, and when you placed the hands of the doll together, she would say a nighttime prayer. I also remember joining my childhood church when I was around 5 years old. We would attend church every Sunday and as I grew up, I became very involved there. I was in the children’s choir (and later the adult choir), the mime dance team, the praise dance team, among other things. I loved praise and worship and I loved hearing the word and trying to apply it to my life. I got saved at a Night Watch Service in 2004. I remember being a 10-year-old little girl and being so convicted about using profanity, “That was not the language God wanted me to use because life and death lies in the power of the tongue!” (LOL.)
While my childhood was a great foundation for my journey as a believer, 24-year-old me knows that I had to really get to know God for myself again. Through the last few years I have leaned on what I learned as a child, but I have also unlearned some things, and really gotten to know God for who He truly is to me. I have learned a lot, and I am still learning.
I don’t know if there was an exact moment that I decided to take a step and deepen my relationship with God. I think it was more of an ebb and flow process. As you get older, life can seemingly come at you very fast. Truly, I was trying to make sense of it all and figure out where God was in the midst of everything. He met me right where I was with such freeing truth, and I am so grateful that our relationship is progressing beautifully.
Three truths that have transformed my relationship with God:
1. He is in it all!
It wasn’t until I started going to my current church that I heard language around seeing God in the every day. For me I looked at things as being an easy season or a hard season. When things were going well, I would give thanks and just be prayerful that that season could last a little longer. When things were not so good, I would cling on to God and just ask that He would take it away ASAP. While I think it is a good thing that I knew where my help comes from, I think I was also limiting God. He is not just here to protect me from harm, or give to me what I think makes a good life! He does these things very well, but at the end of the day God is in the highs, the lows, and the in betweens. God is with me when I wake up, as I am brushing my teeth, in my classroom, and when I am hanging out with friends. He is with me in the mundane and extraordinary. What’s really cool to me is that He is always moving in my life, but it is up to me to see it or not. I can choose to only focus on the really big things like being blessed with my dream job, or being surprised by a bill that I don’t know how I am going to pay. Or I can also see how He is growing me when I chose to be disciplined in my actions, and also how He is moving in my relationships with the people around me. When I realize that God is in it ALL, I can change my actions as well. No longer am I ready to jump to conclusions or try to figure it all out. No longer am I being self-critical and trying to change core parts of who I am. No longer am I rushing through life to see what’s next. Instead I am here in the now. This exact moment. What is God saying right now? Who is he calling me to be? Where is He showing me exactly who I am? Where is He healing me and setting me free? He has shown me that true relationship is built in the mundane, the day to day aspects of life.
2. To have true relationship with people, you have to know who they are.
One of the questions that we answer very often when discussing scripture in my HouseChurch is “What does this passage reveal about God?” I have held this question dear to my heart and it frequents my own personal Bible Study time as well. What I’ve realized is that I knew of God, but I did not really, really know Him. The character of God is so interesting to me and I have realized that knowing who He is, is directly connected to who I am! This has been a game changer.
Because I know God as El Roi, I can confidently endure any and all seasons that I find myself in. Because I know God as faithful, I can look back over my life and use those experiences as “stones” to remind me that God always comes through. Because I know God as healer, I can confidently address my past traumas and know that generational traumas will stop with me! Because I know God as provider, I can let go of the scarcity mindset and know that I have all that I need in Him. Because I know God as peace I will rest in Him and not succumb to worldly pressures to always grind and/or conform. Because I know God as the giver of grace and mercy, I can forgive myself and others. These are characteristics that I’ve learned through life experiences and from reading the Bible. This is only the tip of the iceberg.
Another note on true relationship: When I stopped treating God how society teaches us to approach relationships and with my flawed sense of who I thought He was, everything changed. I stopped being worried about what He would say after I messed up. I stopped trying to hide from Him when I knew I wasn’t following through on what I said I would do. I started truly trusting Him and stepping out on faith knowing that He is ALWAYS faithful so if He said go, He will be right there with me. And because of this, my earthly relationships changed too. Instead of showing up in relationships based on how others treat me, I am learning to love how God loves. Now I know I’m human so of course I’m not perfect at it, but this has done wonders for all the relationships in my life. When you get close to God he will reveal Himself to you and reveal things about you and your life WILL change. There’s no stopping it.
3. God knows me intimately and loves me more than I can ever imagine.
God is my creator. When He created me he had my entire life in mind. He knew all of my intricacies. He created me just as I am. When I really let that marinate, it is healing. Through life we are conditioned to be a certain way because of our upbringing and other circumstances that are many times out of our control. Therapy and healing are not new concepts to me, but what is new is that therapy and healing are not separate from God. What makes so much sense to me now is to go to the source for that healing. In my mind, God’s healing power was reserved for healing physical sicknesses. But now I’ve grown to know that God is interested in healing our hearts too. I am a huge advocate for therapy, and I actually think that everyone should have a therapist, so I am not saying throw away therapy and just pray. But what I am saying is that when I started to meet God in His word, pray, and invite Him into my entire life, He showed me parts of myself that I didn’t even know were hurt. He revealed past pain, traumas, and the effects of just coping instead of healing. He also revealed my true identity. He showed me that the things I have been fighting to change are actually the most unique things about me and that He loves me for who I am, and just as I am in this exact moment. God has been the driving force of my self-love and me evolving into the woman that I was, am, and will be!
So here I am at almost-25 and I am so excited to be on this journey with my God who knows me. I love him deeply and I am at peace with the past and excited for the now and the next.
How has truly knowing God changed your life? Let me know in the comments!
Love y’all!
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